I think my eyes are broken

I found this on my camera when I went to get pictures off this morning. Only, it's just not possible that this situation ever occurred so how can there be a picture?


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Really, both of them sitting still at the same time?? And next to each other? It can't be right. I'll have to check with Tim when he gets home because I know I didn't take this picture.

Just talked to my dad a little bit ago. He sounds really good. He said he's on a clear liquid diet now, but doing well with it. Hasn't gotten sick yet. He's starting to feel alot better too, but its a slow going process and that's driving him crazy. Hopefully we'll find out soon when they are going to release him. He had to hang up in a hurry because a nurse came into the room so I'm also hoping they call back at some point later today.

I've been cleaning the house this morning which is so not fun. Next on my list is to go put away the piles of laundry on the couch upstairs. I've never seen the piles so big before so I'm thinking every piece of clothing the boys own was dirty. I'm back to work tonight too so anything not done isn't getting done.

Max has gymnastics tonight if he can make it through the school day without getting into trouble. It's watch day so I should be able to get some pictures if Alex cooperates. We actually get to be inside the gym in the balcony as opposed to sitting outside the mirrored window. Max is pretty excited about that so I'm thinking he'll have a good day.

Not much else to talk about. Just had to share that picture when I saw it. I still don't believe it.

Were the answers right?

Max had a big blow up at school today. Again. This time he scratched his teacher and drew blood from her hand. NOT cool! The director called me. I think it helped keep his spot there that she knows we had him evaluated. She's not sure she agrees with the fact that he is "only" ADHD. She thinks there may be something more that the psychologist wasn't able to see only having 3 sessions with him. Maybe oppositional defiant disorder? Not sure, but his outbursts are bad. Usually removing him from the situation and taking him somewhere he feels safe helps, but we can't continue to let him have these out of control behaviors. The director has 4 sons, one with ADHD, one with ADD and ODD, and two that were ok. She's been there done that and really is willing to help us. I just pray we can figure out what works for him and stick with it. It kills me to know he always feels remorse after his episodes. He doesn't like that he gets that way, but he can't help it. He can't stop it on his own before it goes to far so I guess that's up to us to help him learn.

It definitely makes me want to hurry up and get him into counseling. For his sake and for ours. The sooner he can learn to control himself and we can learn how to help him, the sooner I might not feel like such a horrible parent. I agreed not to push for meds because Tim is so against it at the time being. However, what if they would help?? They helped Rusty, but I know every person is different. I just don't want him to go through life being labeled as the angry kid. Especially because he is so loving and caring when he isn't blowing up. Anyway, I feel like after today I want him on meds more than ever. Because I want to help him find balance long before he starts school.

I don't know much right now other than I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes feeling so guilty that he's this way. Wishing I could just flip a switch and make it better. I'm sure tonight when Tim gets home we'll talk about it. Hopefully that'll leave me feeling better than I do right now. I do know I'm calling the friend who referred us to the psychologist so I can find out from her who to take him to for counseling. I'd like to get that set us ASAP.

I'll let you know more when I know more.

As for my dad, he was supposed to have some infected drainage sucked out yesterday but that didn't happen. Not exactly sure why since I didn't talk to my mom. I'm hoping she call herself today so I know what's going on. Originally they were thinking they'd release him this week so I'm hoping that still happens. I'm also curious to see if he has been able to eat and drink yet without getting sick. Again, you'll know more when I do.

Tim is awesome!!!

I was playing around on the internet, as usual, and all of a sudden he hands me a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. It was soooooooo good! Nothing like homemade. He should really be a chef ;)

Finally, some answers!

I'll start with Max because I know everyone has been waiting to hear what we found out yesterday. I meant to post last night, but I was too tired.

Max's IQ is above normal. He's in the 82nd percentile which means only 18% of kids his age know more than he does. However, his attention span was in the normal range. If you look at either of the tests alone, he appears pretty normal, but a little smart. If you put them together, he appears to have ADHD. For his intelligence level, he should definitely be able to still a lot longer. She also said some of the attention test was on the computer and he did really well there. Since he hyperfocuses on the computer, that may have caused him to test higher in the attention portion than if she had given it orally. Basically, if his attention matched his intelligence he'd be in the 98th percentile. Because of the discrepancy she definitely feels that he does have ADHD.

She recommended we see a doctor who would prescribe meds because she really feels that they would help Max. Tim doesn't necessarily agree with meds though, and I really wanted to wait until he goes to school. So, our next option is counseling. Max would go some on his own and do play therapy, but Tim and I would also be involved with learning how to help him deal with his impulsiveness, attention problems, and meltdowns. Tim agrees that that's the best place to start and we'll go from there.

Nothing really surprising. Dr. Monroe was very impressed with Max and it cracked her up that he would ask if they could be done with the questions because he was bored. He really just wanted to get back to the waiting room to play.

As far as an update on my dad, he's doing better. He did have another infection pocket erupt yesterday, but it's probably a good thing because now it's out and he can work on continuing to get rid of the infection. His NG tube is out and yesterday they started letting him drink little bits at a time. If he can keep it down without getting sick to his stomach than they'll increase the amount and what he's allowed to have. Hopefully his antibiotics will continue to work and his white count will continue to go down. At this point he is supposed to be released next Wednesday unless his labs don't look good or something else pops up. My mom still isn't sure how long they'll stay down in FL as she likes that they are handling his IV antibiotics well. It would be a hassle for him to fly home in between doses. We shall see though. I just want them home so I can go visit and take the boys to see him.

Tim told me last night he heard of a bar near here that has rock bands on Saturday nights. So, of course he wants to go out again. Since we rarely ever do, I'm all for it. Alli is probably still sleeping though so I have to wait a bit to call and see if she can babysit! Keep your fingers crossed. With all the sickness going around, I just want to have fun and forget it all for a night.

We are all home for the weekend so I'm hoping to do something that doesn't include vegging on the couch. Unfortunately its supposed to rain all weekend so that really limits what we can go do.

I'm off for now, but I shall return!

Boys SUCK!!

K, first let me start with Max. I totally forgot to mention this, but a few weeks ago when I was dropping him off I overheard something I never thought I'd hear. At least coming from a 4 year old. One little girl did something Max didn't like. He called his "girlfriend" over and whispered "Go tell ??? you're gonna kick her ass." Little girl saw me standing there and refused, but I wonder if she would have done it (repeated what he said at least) if I weren't there. I told his teacher so she would know we didn't find that acceptable. Yikes!

Today someone didn't do what he wanted them to do so he kicked and hit at them. Got talked to and 5 minutes later did it again to another child. When the teacher tried to take him out in the hall to talk to him, he kicked at and hit her. HUH??? He loves this teacher!!! He got sent to the office where they would now like to know how we would handle such a situation. That's a tough one. At home he might get spanked and would definitely be sent to his room. Most likely we would take away his computer and anything else he seems to be in love with at the time. No snacks, or anything fun for at least the rest of the day. What can they do there though?? Tim out in the office and stay there until he wants to be human again is the only thing I can think of. Fortunately we have his appointment with the psychologist tomorrow to find out the results of his testing. I'm hoping to bring that up and see what she has to say.

On to Alex. That kid is an absolute monster. In addition to having no fear and getting into anything and everything, he's a mean bully!! He hits at home, beats the crap out of Max and has been pushing other kids down at daycare. Last week he knocked one girl off a bookshelf that he probably taught her to climb up on. Spanking him does no good because it just teaches him to hit more and he doesn't listen to NO at all. I've tried time outs, but he's really still too young for that. I get right in his face and tell him that it's unacceptable, but how much does he really understand. I guess it's good practice for when he does, but I am at the end of my rope with these two monsters. And second, today he grabbed his teacher's chest and said "boobie" Where did he get that from????? We don't use that word, and really, we don't much talk about them around here because I'm the only one that has them. Max was curious for awhile when Alex was still breast feeding, but it doesn't come up that much. How embarrassing!!!

With all that is going on with my dad right now, I'd really just like to curl up in a ball on the couch and cry. Veg, scrapbook, whatever. Nothing stressful that's for sure. These kids do not give up though. If I don't get myself medicated with some happy pills I'm going to have to start medicating them or someone isn't going to make it to their next birthday.

Ahhh, feels better to get that out.

A bit of mindless rambling for my sanity.... Today is Thursday. I have a gazillion shows that I watch on Thursday nights and Tim decided tonight of all nights to download and start watching Juno on his computer. It's a chick flick! Might be a comedy but it doesn't seem like something he would like. How come he has to watch a movie that I've been dying to see on a night when I already have enough to watch? He can't wait til this weekend when there will be NOTHING on TV to watch?? GRR! Men!

EWWWW! Someone on Survivor just ate bat. That is nasty. I guess where he's from that's normal, but just gross!!! I don't care how hungry I am, there is no way.

Bill and Rusty are down on FL with my parents now. I must say that I'm quite jealous. They also haven't called to give me an update today. Wonder if they think because they are all there I don't need information anymore. Um, I don't think so. Mom did give me some pretty good updates on where things stand when I talked to her yesterday, but I expect a call everyday. It's bad enough that I can't be there but to be left out of the loop too just sucks!

I guess that's about all I have for tonight. Just needed to get a few things off my chest. I'm sure there'll be more this weekend! Stay tuned!